


Cars & Bars

by castielrisingabove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe, Castiel and Bees, Cuddling, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, Famous Dean, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Slow Burn, Vlogger Dean, Writer Castiel, ace!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielrisingabove/pseuds/castielrisingabove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's a famous vlogger whose travel vlog, "Cars & Bars" has been suffering since his mysterious return to his home, a small place outside of Seattle. In an effort to gain viewers, Dean's natural charm is being challenged as he must woo the next person he sees into a long-term relationship. The lucky stranger? An uptight accountant named Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Back, Viewers

"Welcome back to another day of _Cars & Bars. _I'm Dean Winchester, devoted to giving you a taste of the free life on the road in the good ol' USA." 

 

Dean Winchester, looking every inch the type of ruggedly handsome man who would win over millions of followers on his wild road-trip adventures, gives his trade-mark grin as he leans forwards to adjust the camera. 

"As you know, I'm taking a much needed break from my travels,"

It's only a flicker, the briefest shadow that you'd only catch if you paused at just the right moment, that crosses Dean's face, but he's back to his usual charm almost instantaneously. 

"But before you think my life's gonna get boring, worry not! I've got a special challenge I'm embarking on before I hit the open road again..."

It's something his sponsor, Alistair, suggested. Dean didn't like authority, he hated answering to someone. The point of making his vlog at all was on a suggestion from his younger brother Sam. That kid was smarter than Dean dreamed to be, studying to be a lawyer at Stanford, and had suggested that Dean take all his crazy stories on the open road and put them out to the public. If he got lucky, Sam had reasoned, the vlog itself might pay for Dean's irresponsible lifestyle.

Dean hadn't just gotten lucky, he'd hit the jackpot.

The only downside was these days, the money came with some strings attached. Entirely too many, with Alistair involved. But Sam had been right, Dean needed  _something_  to supplement this life...so Dean had agreed. He'd upped the bar-fights, one night stands and questionably legal activity, all in attempts to woo more viewers. Combined with his natural good looks, Dean had succeeded. But this? What's coming next? Definitely the worst thing Dean has been asked to do.

"I've wooed a good share of people on the open road, but while I'm here, it's time to put my skills to the test. Can I make someone _here_  fall in love with me? I'm talking commitment, date nights...the whole 9 yards. The only catch?"

Dean turns away from the camera, giving himself a moment to compose himself as he twists the camera to point out his front window.

"It's gonna be with the first stranger who walks past my door."

Dean lived close enough to the local college, he figured this would be in the bag. Some hot chick who was only looking for a summer relationship. Just enough time to get back on his feet and back out of this place, but not long enough to really break her heart.

He turns to poke his nose out the window and his heart plummets as he sees the passerby.

It's a man. A man Dean has seen around before, with dark, rumpled hair and, regardless of the season, a suit, tie and trench coat. 

Shaken, Dean pulls the camera's focus back onto himself. 

"Well, I guess that settles it. Time to go out and get myself a number."

He musters another snarky grin, though his heart thuds wildly in his chest, before turning the camera to point out the window.

Dean takes a moment at the door to calm himself down. He can't explain why he's so nervous. He's hit on plenty of guys before. Besides, this mysterious trench-coat man probably isn't into dudes. It's an easy out, really. So why is he shaking?

That won't do. Dean fumbles with a flask he keeps close, takes a quick gulp, then plasters his winning smile onto his face. Game time. 

\----

"Hey! Wait up!"

Castiel, the mysterious man in a trench coat, pauses at the sound. He's not used to anyone calling out for him, especially not someone in an unfamiliar voice.

He turns, squinting, to come face-to-face with the greenest eyes he's ever seen. Cas blinks in the rest of the man in another second. He's got ripped jeans and a dark t-shirt, tattoos poking out from various places and dancing across his tanned skin. Cas cocks his head, trying to process why this man, of all people, would be trying to get his attention. 

"I've, uh, seen you around," the man beams a dazzling smile, "Finally worked up the courage to say hello. I'm Dean, by the way." The man extends a hand.

Castiel merely stares. His brow furrows, still trying desperately to comprehend _why_  this man is still trying to interact. Slowly, he reaches out to grasp Dean's hand, drinking in the warm, calloused skin as he continues to make silent eye contact.

The man swallows, though he's still maintaining a grin. "C'mon...I'm totally exposed here, approaching a guy like you. You gotta say _something_."

Castiel frowns. All of this is highly unusual and what is more, he doesn't have time for it. He's got work. Can't Dean see this? "I would prefer to talk later."

A myriad of emotions cross Dean's face at once, then he nods. "Can I get your number?" he asks. He pats his pants pockets, tugging out a crumpled receipt, but his grin fades slightly, "If I had a pen..."

Castiel sighs, rummaging through his briefcase to pull out a pen. The faster this man takes care of business, he reasons, the faster he'll get to work.  

"Thanks." Dean shoves the receipt awkwardly into his hand. Castiel carefully jots his number onto the page before handing it back to Dean.

They make awkward eye contact for a moment after before Dean nods. "I'll call," he says with a grin, winking for good measure.

Castiel can't help but watch him walk away. After a few steps, Cas calls out.

\----

Dean adjusts the camera to once again focus on him. He's breathless and he can't explain why. The man's attractive, yes, but he's also _weird_. Dean can't figure out for the life of him what the man's impression of him even was, much less what the man was thinking now. Trying to woo him was going to be a nightmare, Dean was almost certain. Then again, he didn't actually know that much about the man. All he had for sure was a name, heavy on his tongue.

 "Castiel," Dean all but breathes, staring into the camera, "His name is Castiel."


	2. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, brief mentions of homophobia

It's official. The internet is eating this shit up. Dean leans back in his chair, refreshing the page every so often to watch the "view counter" build. This is his most watched video in a long time. Not that he's been putting on a good show lately. As it turns out, people tend to lose interest when you leave the open road act and settle back into your old apartment just outside of Seattle. 

Dean should feel pleased about this fact. After all, it means more revenue from ads, more potential interviews and more praise from Alastair. Dean's face crumples in revulsion at the last thought. Since when did he need praise from a slimy asshole executive? Oh. Right. Since that executive started getting him famous. But the fact of the matter is, despite everything going well...Dean feels sick.

Dean pulls the crumpled paper bearing Castiel's phone number out of his pocket. He's wearing the same jeans as yesterday, hasn't felt like changing, and it already feels strange to be staring down at this number. His stomach curls into a tighter knot as he surveys the neat, tight handwriting, signifying that what lay on the other end of this phone call was a  _person_. A person who's life could easily be ruined if Dean pulled him into the public sphere without him knowing.

What's more, there's something about this guy being...well...a  _guy_. Dean knows it shouldn't matter. Hell, he's flirted with plenty, but this is...different. He's never done anything serious with a guy before. Dean can't help but think of what his father would say.

John Winchester almost lost it when Dean's younger brother Sam came out as gay to him. John was...always a little hard to handle, especially when he'd been drinking, but that night had been especially bad. It had taken everything Dean had to keep the two of them from tearing each other apart.

Sam ran away to Stanford a week later.

The worst part? Dean had known _he_  was bi for a year before the incident. Of course, Dean wasn't as brave (or brash, it was hard to tell sometimes) as his younger brother. Dean knew how John felt about "those damn homosexuals" and didn't dare to come out, not to Sam, not to anyone. Dean still replays the scene in his head of how things could have gone differently, how Sammy would have been spared the beating of a life time if Dean had just been the one to come out. To stand up. To do...well...just about anything differently.

And maybe Castiel is his chance. 

For a brief moment, Dean allows himself to imagine the guy again. His dark brown hair, thick enough to play with...his tie that wasn't neatly tied...those bright, ethereal blue eyes...

_He'll make some good eye candy for the viewers._

Dean frowns, the unbidden thought sounding too much like Alastair for Dean's liking. He glances back down at the number in his lap, rubbing a hand wearily across his eyes. He's not sure  _what_ to think right now. It's hard to think of Castiel like any other stranger, after all, Castiel's been marked for a future relationship. But this doesn't feel like he's starting to pursue a relationship either, likely due to the fact this whole thing's a set up. 

Maybe Castiel will just nip this all in the bud after a first encounter....but Dean finds himself secretly hoping (whether for the monetary gain or because he's actually interested in something, Dean isn't quite sure) that Castiel will want to stay.

Dean sighs, leaning forwards to turn on the webcam. Next he pulls out his phone.

"Gonna call him," Dean says, waving the phone number in front of the camera, "Here goes..." 

He flashes the camera a cheeky smile before dialing the number, pausing dramatically over the "call" button for effect. "Just so you know, this is all gonna be on speaker phone, so if I get turned down, don't be too hard on me." Heaven knows if he  _did_ get turned down, he'd be flooded with sympathetic comments. Then, heart pounding, Dean presses the button.

The phone rings once, then twice, then--

_Hello, this is Castiel Novak. Who am I speaking to?_

Dean's eyes flick up to the camera. He wasn't expecting Castiel to answer so soon. Or for his voice to sound quite so deep. Dean covers up with a wink before turning his attention back to the phone.

"Heya, Cas--do you mind if I call you Cas?--this is Dean."

Long pause.

Dean licks his lips, then continues, "You know, the guy from yesterday? Chased you down to get your number?"

_Right, sorry._ _I forgot your name._

Blunt.

Dean raises his eyebrows, surprised.

_If I'd seen you in person, however, things would have been different._

Dean frowns slightly, his bottom lip jutting out into almost a pout. "How so?"

_You are...memorable, Dean...and no, I do not mind if you call me Cas._

"Memorable in a good way, I hope," Dean replies, trying to muster the swagger he usually had in these situations.

_Of course._

Another long pause. Dean tries to regain his charm, while still looking suave in front of the camera. This phone call would have been nerve-wracking enough without an audience.

_Is there a reason you called me?_

Dean's eyes widen. He's really making a mess of things this time. "Uh...yeah. Obviously. Um. You wanna get coffee?"

_Right now?_

Castiel sounds confused. Dean runs a hand through his hair.

"Tomorrow morning sound good? I could catch you before work, we could walk together. I know a small place nearby that serves  _great_ pastries."

_That sounds excellent, Dean. Meet you at 7?_

"Sounds good. See you around, Castiel."

_Goodbye, Dean._

And that's it. The phone call is over. Dean is oddly shaken by the whole exchange...he had never intended to ask Castiel to coffee. Take the guy to a bar, get him drunk...that's how these sorts of things usually worked for Dean Winchester. But something about this is different. Maybe it's the fact he's supposed to catch it all on camera. Maybe the fact it's with the handsome stranger named Castiel. Dean isn't sure. All he knows is he's got a coffee date at 7 AM tomorrow.

And he's actually excited about it.

 


	3. Enter Sammy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know. The next one will be longer.

_"You're taking him to coffee?"_

The video's been up for 15 minutes, tops, and Sam is already calling him. Dean sighs wearily, "That's the plan. Figured I'd take him to Charlie's place."

_"...wow. Man, that's...big."_

Dean scowls, phone to his ear as he wanders over to the refrigerator. He pokes his head in before remembering he _still_  hasn't filled it up since getting home almost a month ago. In the old days, he would have had plenty of ingredients to make a nice home-cooked meal...but Dean has grown accustomed to living out on the road. He settles with a container of two-day old Chinese take-out, popping it into the microwave.

"It's just coffee, Sam," Dean replies.

_"It's not **just**  coffee. You haven't taken anyone out to anything nice for ages."_

"Hey--"

_"Those crap bars don't count, Dean."_

Dean's quiet, watching the box of take-out spin quietly in the microwave.

_"Is this just another way to get viewers?"_

Ding. The microwave chimes and Dean uses this as an excuse to avoid the uncomfortable question. Leave it to Sam to cut right to the heart of the issue.

_"Dean...you don't need to keep doing this. I'll be out of law school in a year, I'll be able to start helping you out. And I'm sure Bobby will let you work at his garage..."_

Dean tests the food with his finger, still cold. He pushes it back into the microwave and punches the "add 30 seconds" button. "That's not what this is about, Sammy," Dean insists, "I actually wanna get to know Cas."

Silence on the other end, the sound of the microwave filling Dean's ears. 

_"Are you still going to record it?"_

Dean swallows. The microwave dings again and Dean pulls the box out. "...yeah."

Another long pause. Dean stares down at his food, but his appetite has fled.

_"...just be careful, okay? I don't want you to get into any legal trouble--"_

"--I won't--"

_"...and I don't want you to hurt anyone, either. This guy is a real person, you know."_

Dean frowns, popping a piece of chicken into his mouth almost mechanically and chewing. "I won't, Sam. I promise."

Still, he can practically see Sam's expression. The scrunched up, sad look on his face when he disapproves of what Dean's been doing. Dean's seen that look a lot lately...since his vlog got big, essentially. "I'll cut things off if it looks like it's getting too serious, okay?"

_"Even if Alastair wants you to keep it going?"_

Dean swallows, feeling slightly sick at the thought. "Even then," he replies, words heavy on his tongue. He hopes it won't come to that.

_"Good."_

Sam sounds more cheerful.

_"For what it's worth, I **do**  hope it works out with him. He's cute."_

"Shut up, Sammy!"

Sam's laughing on the other end and Dean can't help but crack a smile.

_"Let me know how it goes, okay?"_

"You'll just have to wait for the video like all my other faithful viewers," Dean jokes.

_"Jerk."_

"Bitch."


	4. Enter Charlie

The next morning dawns bright and early for Castiel. He finds himself taking extra care with his appearance. Not that it matters, his tie is still crooked and his hair still a relatively unruly mass on the top of his head, but...Cas feels better about it anyway.

He only lives a street away from Dean. It's 6:30, but Cas is oddly full of restless energy, so he makes his way to Dean's front porch and...waits. Cas stands in front of the door for about 20 minutes when it opens abruptly.

"Holy shit, man."

Dean's in ripped jeans and a faded AC/DC t-shirt, his feet bare and hair messy as his shocked eyes take in Castiel. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Twenty minutes, give or take," Cas shrugs.

Dean tucks back in his house, returning with shoes that he's hastily shoving on while standing up. "For future reference, that's weird," he snaps, circling back into his house once his shoes are on to grab something else (Cas can't quite see what), "Some might even say creepy."

He's closing the door, locking it behind him, all while Cas continues to stare. Dean runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it, before taking a deep breath and looking Castiel over again. 

"You ever change?"

Cas shrugs, "I have a lot of the same clothes...I don't really care what I'm wearing." 

Dean shrugs. "Well, guess we're off five--"

"--seven," Cas corrects him. 

"...seven minutes early," Dean continues.

Cas nods, following Dean as he begins to make his way down the street. He's not sure what to say, so they end up walking in silence, down a few winding streets and alleys that Cas would never have thought to take, but eventually they're stopped in front of the cutest coffee shop Cas has ever seen.

The exterior is painted in bright colors. A sign shaped like a castle hangs above the door, with the words "The Bean Palace," written in an ornate scrawl across it.

Dean pushes the door open and a bell tinkles. Cas follows him in, eyes widening. The interior is small, but comfortable. The assortment of furniture is eclectic, anything from diner chairs and tables, to squashy armchairs, to a gaggle of beanbag chairs clustered around a small fireplace. 

At the front is the widest display of pastries Cas has ever seen, though upon further investigation they all have names like "Hobbit Heaven" and "Slayer Snack." Still, despite the confusing names, they all look delicious.

"Figuring out what you want?" 

Cas looked up to see a red-headed young woman beaming at him from across the counter.

"I--"

Her eyes go wide as they glance past him and to Dean. "Dean Winchester? Is that you?"

He grins, sidling up past Cas to hug the girl over the counter. "Charlie! Long time no see!"

"Didn't expect you to hang around here, what with you being famous and all."

Cas glances over to Dean, a confused look on his face. Famous? Really? Admittedly, there's a lot he doesn't know about this guy, but...famous?

Dean catches the confusion on Cas' face. "It's nothing," he brushes it off hastily. He looks like he might say more, but Charlie cuts in.

"Oh, my gosh, is he--?"

Dean's eyes widen, "Charlie, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Charlie. We've been friends for a while. Charlie, you wanna get us both some of your famous hot chocolate?"

Charlie grins and nods. "He's dreamy, by the way," she calls over her shoulder.

Cas isn't sure what to take in first, so he settles with the easier question. "I thought we were here to get coffee," he says, only a vague hint of betrayal in his voice.

"We can," Dean amends, "It's just this place makes the best hot chocolate in the world. Especially when paired with...well...any of these pastries, really, but I'm partial to the mini cherry pie."

"You know the rules for that, Dean!" Charlie calls out.

Cas gives Dean a questioning look and Charlie turns around, mugs of cocoa in her hands and a wicked gleam in her eyes. "He kept making sex moans the last time he ate those," she adds before Dean can stop her, "We had to cut him off until he could eat them quietly."

Dean groans as Cas' eyebrows shoot up. "I suppose we'll take two of the, uh, sex-pies then," Cas says, causing Dean to turn completely red as Charlie bursts into peals of laughter.

"Man, if this wasn't supposed to be a family establishment, I'd totally re-name those," she says between giggles, scooping two of the small pies onto plates, "A + work on the date, Dean Winchester."

Dean's about as red as the cherries in the pie by now. He jams his hand in his pocket for cash to pay, but Charlie raises a hand. "On the house," she says, "Just promise to come by more often, okay? And maybe put in a good word about this place to your faithful viewers?"

She winks at the last question while Dean stammers a response.

"Viewers?" Cas asks, curiously.

"Don't worry about it," Dean mutters, handing Cas a plate and a mug.

Cas would have inquired more, but they found a seat and he couldn't help but dig into the pie right away. Cas can't help but moan a little with pleasure. 

"It's not just me, Charlie!" Dean calls out, a smug look on his face.

Cas flushes, but Dean's smirk vanishes as soon as he takes a bite of the pie and makes an even louder moan. Cas doesn't say anything, just raises his eyebrows. His eyes shine with a hint of a smile.

"Maybe I _should_  rename those pies..." Charlie calls out from across the counter.

Dean laughs, a deep, friendly laugh, and Cas settles into the warm, homey interior of the nearly empty coffee shop, nibbling the pie in between sips of the rich, dark, hot chocolate.

It's so nice that he's lost track of time, a ping on his phone tugging Cas back into reality. His eyes widen as he realizes the time. "I've got to go," he says, standing abruptly, "This has been nice, Dean."

And then he's out the door, bell ringing before Dean can say any sort of goodbye.


	5. Pies and Filming

As soon as Castiel is out the door, Charlie is at Dean's table, eyes wide and eager. "He's the guy from your show, isn't he?" her voice practically a squeal.

Dean sighs. He tugs a portable microphone out of his pocket, turning it off before looking up at Charlie. To his disappointment, the look of excitement on her face has shifted to one of worry.

"Were...you recording that whole date?"

Dean shifts uncomfortably. "Yeah...that's kinda the point."

"Does he know?"

Dean looks away, all good feelings from the date quickly sinking. 

"It's not like this is going anywhere," he says finally, slightly defensive.

"I thought you said on your show you were going long-term," Charlie replies, scooping up Cas' empty plate and mug and carrying them back to the kitchen. Dean follows with his own dishes. 

"Yeah, but...it's not _real_. I don't plan on ever having anything like that for reals, it's just a stunt for the viewers."

Dean listens for a response, but for a moment it's just the click of dishes and the rush of water as Charlie washes the dishes. When she returns, her face is set.

"Is this because of what happened in Georgia?"

Dean pales, jaw setting. "Georgia has nothing to do with this."

Charlie wipes her hands on her apron, which is covered in a pattern of R2D2s wearing princess hats, looking up at Dean with a knowing look in her eyes. Dean thinks she's going to try to give more advice, but she just adds: "He's cute, you know. I approve."

"I just said--"

"I know," Charlie grins, "But a lot can change, right? Besides, you don't think there's the _tiniest_  chance you might think he's cute?"

Dean glances around the coffee shop, ensuring it was empty, before smiling shyly. "Kinda."

"I _knew_  it!" Charlie punches him in the arm. Her excitement is obvious as it lands harder than Dean was expecting.

"Woah there," Dean said, lifting up his hands in mock surrender, "That doesn't mean we're gonna--"

"--you're gonna fall in love with the dreamy Castiel!" Charlie's voice is sing-songy.

"Shut up," Dean replies, but his voice is tentatively cheerful. A thought crosses his mind and he sighs. "You mind if I bring Cas by another time?"

Charlie raises her eyebrows. "Like game night?"

Charlie's place often hosted game nights: sometimes cards, sometimes board games, sometimes Dungeons and Dragons, and Dean used to participate before he became famous.

"The usual crowd?" Dean asks, though his face is a mask.

Charlie beams. "Yup! Garth, Benny, Ash..."

"Lot of dudes for a girl into chicks," Dean comments, finding a bean bag chair to sit on. He sinks into the bright yellow depths.

Now it's Charlie's turn to smile shyly. Dean pushes himself up.

"No way. Who?"

"Jo," Charlie replied, grinning so broadly her whole face lit up.

"Jo Harvelle? Had a crush on me Jo? No way!" Dean laughs, but it's a surprised laugh.

Charlie's laughing too, "Turns out she's waaaay over you. But you missed out. She's _great_  in bed."

Dean just gapes, his mouth hanging open as he tries to formulate a response. "You leave town and everyone hooks up without you."

"Nah, just me," Charlie replies, plopping down onto a blue bean bag beside Dean.

"I missed you, you know," Dean says quietly, fiddling with his microphone. "Used to wonder how you were doing."

"It's the 21st century, Dean," Charlie chided, "There were ways to check in."

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't bear you guys finding out what I'd become."

A bell dings and people, a mother and several children, enters. Charlie hops up, a hurt look on her face. "Bit hard to be secretive when you run a _vlog_." 

Then the hurt look is gone, a bright smile plastered to her face as she helps the family decide which pastries they want to purchase. Meanwhile, Dean sags in the beanbag chair, wishing he could sink all the way into the ground.

Even after the customers have left, Charlie remains busy in the back. Dean stands, then sits back down several times, trying for the life of him to figure out if he's wanted. After about half an hour, Dean decides Charlie would prefer him gone, so Dean made his way to the door.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate and pies," Dean calls out.

Charlie looks up from the pastries she's loading into the display. "I'll let you film here," she says. The look on her face means she's been thinking this over for a while.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, "This is important to you and I'd like to be a part of your life again, if you know what I mean."

"And Cas?"

Charlie sighs, placing the last couple of brownies into a neat formation before pushing back to standing. "Kinda hoping you'll figure out how to date him _without_  the creepy filming..."

"Charlie..." Dean warns wearily. What will it take for people to realize he doesn't want a long term relationship? No. It's more than that, Dean's not even sure he can _handle_  a long term relationship, not after everything. But Charlie's staring at him and Dean can see the hope burning in her eyes and he can't tell her. Not here. Not now. It's been years since they've spoken; the last thing he wants is to break down in her shop as he reveals deep, dark secrets. "I don't even know if Cas wants to see me again."

Charlie smirks, bending over again to scoop a cherry pie into a white paper bag. "The only person who could tell you that is Castiel," she replies, darting out from behind the counter to hand Dean the bag.

Dean takes the bag, staring down at Charlie affectionately. "Thank you," he says quietly, hoping the thanks for the pastry will also serve to cover the countless other unspoken _thank yous_ he had on his mind.

\------------

That night came making the latest "Cars & Bars" video. Dean makes sure he looks presentable before filming his bits.

"So, this guy is hot as hell, but he shows up at my door like 20 minutes early. And he just stands there! It wasn't exactly how I planned to start my morning off, but..." 

Dean's typical swaggering, confident persona, the way he presents himself to the camera and his viewers on a daily basis, melts for just a second. "...It was actually a really good date."

He gives himself a moment to fall quiet and just remember the date, aware that any potentially mushy smiles can always be edited out later for the final cut.

And then the moment's gone and Dean's "Cars & Bars" persona is back, a wicked smile crossing his face. "And if his reactions to sex are anything like his reactions to those little pies...I can't _wait_  to get into his pants."

Dean records a bit more after that, mostly describing the date in detail and gushing freely about how attractive this man is, then sets about editing in Castiel's voice clips. He briefly considers inserting the pie-moan, but declines. Dean might be toeing the morality line on this whole thing, but he's not evil.

It takes longer than normal to edit, Dean's obsessed with making sure Castiel comes off in the best possible light. He knows the internet can be vicious, and although Dean knows Cas isn't aware of what's happening, he's oddly defensive of the guy. 

But soon it's done. Just enough content to play Cas off as this awkward, but alluring character. And editing his own monologue to ensure he doesn't come off as _too_  attached. The happy pause doesn't make it in the final cut, but Dean watches that segment over and over again. He's used to seeing his own face, he's been editing his own videos for a while now, but Dean isn't used to seeing himself so...content. Castiel is making him feel things he hasn't felt before and Dean feels bad as he preps the video to be uploaded.

He almost stops the video from being uploaded.

But one look at the viewer count reminds Dean he's still got an uphill climb. Maybe one day he can say no to Alastair, but for now...Alastair's right. Dean needs the revenue. Stomach clenching, Dean pushes the upload button.

All that's left is to sit back and see how the viewers take it.


	6. Emoticons

Things are going well. The amount of views has started to increase at a rapid pace, the concept is getting attention and everyone is asking when the next "Cas-vid" will appear. What's more, Alastair called a day or two ago to congratulate Dean on getting back his moxie and, well...he and Cas are texting.

Secretly, Dean thinks this is the best part.

It's nothing too big, certainly nothing too personal. Mostly just a daily "how's it going?" conversation, complete with a slew of emojis on Cas' end. Dean never admits he finds the emojis endearing.

He does make a video poking fun at the emoji-filled texts. In the first run-through, Dean can't help but notice his eyes don't match his snark...they look far too (and he hates to say this out loud) in love. 

Dean huffs at the editing software, then re-shoots the video. His second run through is in danger of being too mushy and the third is even worse. Dean settles with the first cut.

Once the video's been out for a day, Dean decides to check out the comments. He rarely does this, mostly it's just full of trolls and love-sick teenagers wanting to get in his pants. He gets on now because, well...he's curious as to what they're saying about Cas.

There are a good faction of girls who think Cas is adorable. But...there's more. The trolls don't bother Dean so much, he knows they're full of shit, but...something about some of the comments don't sit right with him.

A chirp from his phone, notifying Dean of a text message, thankfully allows Dean to wrench his gaze away from the growing seeds of a shit-fest. 

The message is from Cas, and Dean feels self-conscious as his heart jumps. It's not even anything important, Cas just mentioning something his cat (named "Balthazar") did. Dean isn't sure why something so inane makes him feel like a million bucks.

On a whim, he dials Cas' number. To his surprise, Cas picks up.

_"Hello, Dean."_

"You always gonna open with that line?" Dean jokes, grin quirking his lips. A thought--a rather unfortunate one--crosses Dean's mind that he should probably catch this on camera, just in case. He fumbles for the camera as Cas speaks.

_"I do not understand what's so peculiar about saying hello,"_

"It's not what you say," Dean says, turning the camera on, "and more _how_  you say it." He presses "speaker phone" and sets the phone down near the camera.

_"I don't know how to change that, Dean. Is there a greeting you would prefer?"_

Dean laughs. "Nah, don't change. It's grown on me."

_"Very well. Is there a particular reason you're calling?"_

"I actually wanted to speak to Balthazar."

_"Dean...you do realize Balthazar is a cat, right?"_

"Is he really? I thought he was your roommate!" Dean give the camera a wink.

_"I told you he impregnated the neighbor's cat, Dean! She's making me take all the kittens when they're born, remember?"_

"What can I say? I thought your roommate was drunk!" Dean's having so much fun he almost forgets the camera's on. There's a brief moment where he wishes he could just talk to Cas without recording any of it, but there's no way. No way he'd have the guts to talk to Cas on his own. And definitely no way he'd think about a relationship without being coerced...right?

 _"Dean..."_  

He can hear the confused frustration in Cas' voice and he's loving it.

"I'm kidding, dude. Mostly."

" _Mostly?"_

"How'd you like to go out with me this weekend?"

There it was. He was actually asking Cas out for a second time, hurtling into the situation almost without looking. If he didn't do it like this, Dean was almost certain he'd back out. But whether it was Castiel or the fear of losing his job, Dean was practically doing the impossible.

_"I would enjoy that, Dean."_

Cameras can't capture when your heart lights fireworks, right? Dean's grinning from ear to ear and he can't explain it, aside from the fact he hasn't felt like this since he first left for the open road. It was full of mystery and wonder, things Dean would never say on camera (had to preserve his 'bad boy' image).

"Great. Meet at my place at 9 on Friday?"

_"Of course. Stay well until then, Dean."_

Cas hangs up before Dean can say goodbye, but he's grown used to this behavior. It's strange, certainly, but Dean's had worse. Oh, he's definitely had worse. Hell, Cas is even making the good times seem lackluster lately.

For a moment, Dean feels as though he's floating, but his heart sinks as he notices the camera.

"Guess I've got my work cut out for me," he says to the camera, voice oozing charm, "Castiel isn't gonna know what hit him come Friday."

With another wink to the camera, Dean shuts it off, then dials Charlie. He reaches voicemail. That's good, because his heart is sinking fast knowing what else must accompany this date.

"Hey Charlie, it's Dean. Game night's on for Friday," he says, "Make sure there are cameras set up, okay?"

He hangs up to find Castiel has already texted him:

nice talking to you :-D

Dean smiles sadly, trying to settle the nerves and guilt and simply enjoy Cas, this random stranger who Dean's starting to worry he very well might be more attached to than he'll ever admit. He texts back:

see you Friday, Cas. Can't wait :)

Happiness is the emotion that wins out for the night when he gets a reply:

:o YOU CAN DO THE EMOTICONS TOO!!! :D :D :D


	7. Date 2

"You're doing that thing again," Charlie's voice rings out from across the coffee shop. She's closed her store early and is helping set up cameras and mikes in various decorations she's got around the shop. 

"What thing?" Dean asks, glancing over at her.

"Making your hair 'messy on purpose,' bitch," Charlie replies, the lilt of laughter swirling in her voice, "Is that another thing you do to gain viewers?"

Dean pauses, noticing his fingers in his hair. He withdraws them with a look of embarrassment, shoving his hand into his jacket pocket. "It's not like that," he's all but whining.

Charlie raises her eyebrows as she makes her way to the back of the shop, returning with a tray of various treats. "Get these set up," she orders, "I'm gonna fish 'Dungeons and Dragons' out of the back."

Dean awkwardly places the tray onto the closest table, staring at it as he tries to figure out what more goes into 'set up.' After a few moments, he instead grabs a cupcake and shoves it into his mouth. Not fast enough, though, as Charlie yelps and swats his hand, Dungeons and Dragons tucked under her arm.

"No more of those, Dean Winchester!" she exclaims, "We're supposed to be wooing your boyfriend!"

"I am not going to even correct any of those incorrect statements," Dean replies, mouth full. Crumbs fall out, and he catches them in the palm of his hand. 

It's true, he's been feeling some interest towards the pursuit of Castiel. But wooing him isn't Charlie's job. And it _certainly_ isn't the group's. Dean's already unhappy he has to share Castiel with his viewers. There's something special about this strange, interesting guy that Cas is shaping up to be, something that Dean isn't too keen on sharing with the whole world.

At least Charlie is a friend.

"You know if he's played D&D before?" Charlie asks, dusting off the box.

"Doubt it," Dean replies, "Though I could ask." Truth be told, he's all too happy to whip out his phone and send off a text or two to Cas.

_You play any D &D?_

"Hey! I forgot about these!" Charlie's squeal pulls Dean away from his phone. She pulls out several sheets of papers from the box, waving them around, "Our old character sheets!"

Dean's face lights up. It feels like a lifetime since he's been here, playing games at Charlie's shop with his group of friends. Back when he was dirt poor and scraping by at Bobby's garage, sending all his extra earnings to Sam at Stanford. Back when he had a head full of dreams and a heart full of love.

He'd come back to the town of Sammamish empty.

"My elf druid princess," Charlie squeaked, "Isn't she beautiful?"

Dean chuckles. "I forgot about her. Don't know how I could, with you telling us about how amazing she was all the time."

Charlie sighs. "If I wasn't dating Jo, I'd totally date her."

Dean laughs and Charlie joins in. It feels nice, the companionship; Dean's missed this on the road. His eyes catch on one of the carefully concealed cameras and the laughter dies on his lips. 

"Do you think Cas will mind this?"

"The Dungeons and Dragons?"

Dean shakes his head. "I wish. I mean, the, uh..."

"The illegal, kinda creepy 'filming him without his permission' part?" Charlie shrugs, "Probably."

Dean's phone buzzes.

_I am not sure what that texting acronym stands for :(_

Dean snorts. It's only been two weeks and he loves this guy. Not in the "in love" way, more in the "doesn't want to spend a day without hearing from him" way. Dean knows if he thinks about that second definition too hard, it'll slide into the first, so he pushes the thought away entirely as he responds.

_Dungeons and Dragons. It's a game. You'll love it._

When he looks up, Charlie is giving him a knowing look, which Dean deflects by pulling back on his jacket.

"Gotta pick Castiel up," he says. It doesn't actually take that long to get from Charlie's coffee shop to Cas' house, but there are a couple places he wants to show the guy on the way. 

"Come back with a hickey!" Charlie calls out cheerfully as Dean leaves, resulting in a string of grumbled curses.

\---

Dean adjusts the microphone he's got concealed in his jacket before knocking on Cas' door. It's opened almost immediately and Dean is met with the familiar blue eyes and beige trench coat. Wait. Beige trench coat?

"It's a weekend," Dean said, taking in Castiel's outfit, which looks exactly the same as the ones he's been wearing to work.

"Yes, I am aware," Cas replied slowly, staring at Dean, "I thought that was why we were going to participate in game play."

"No, Cas. It's the _weekend_. Why are you dressed like you've got work in an hour?"

Cas broke Dean's gaze to look down at his own clothes, a confused expression bunched in his pinched brow. "I like wearing this."

"C'mon, man. You gotta relax a little, right?" Dean pushes into Castiel's house. It's fairly empty. The only thing that looks like it could be for Castiel's enjoyment is the shelf of books on the far side of the living room. "Lemme just look in your closet."

Bold move for a second date. But Dean's got his "Cars and Bars" persona up and running and there's no stopping him now. What's almost more surprising, though, is Castiel just allows it to happen. Not a word of dissent on his part, he just quietly leads Dean to the bedroom.

The bed is tiny (seriously, what grown man sleeps on a twin bed?) but neatly made. The closet, just as Castiel had implied, is full of dress shirts, pants and a couple ties. Dean frowns.

"I am sorry, Dean," Cas says, "Unless you would prefer I showed up to your friend's place in pajamas?"

Dean thinks for a moment before shaking his head, turning to face Cas with a confident grin. "You'll just wear some of my clothes. I live nearby, and it's on the way to the shop."

Another bold move. But if Cas is taken aback, his face doesn't show it. He simply nods, following Dean out of his house. The bravado starts to fade as Dean unlocks his own door; he's oddly worried Castiel won't like his house. And of course, everything out of place now seems to stick out like a sore thumb. 

He's got a Beatles record sleeve sitting out on the living room table ( _Hey Jude_  always calms Dean down) from where he'd been listening to the record the night before. An empty coffee cup sits nearby. Dean can see Cas' bright blue eyes roaming the room.

"I like it," Castiel says finally, "It feels...cozy."

Dean can't keep the smile from crossing his face as he leads Cas to the bedroom. A brief thought of Castiel joining him in his bed (Dean can afford a king-sized mattress and buying the best one on the market was one of the first things he'd done when his show had made it big) crosses Dean's mind, but he pushes that away, moving to rummage through his drawers to pull out a pair of jeans that'll probably fit Cas, as well as an AC/DC t-shirt.

"How do these look?" Dean asks, showing the outfit to Cas.

"I...they look adequate," Cas says, beginning to unbutton his own shirt.

"Woah!" Dean turns around so he can't see Castiel change.

"I don't mind if you see anything," Castiel replies as he continues changing.

Dean can't take him up on that offer, can he? He settles on sneaking a peek. Castiel's in his boxers and _holy shit_. Dean's back to staring at his wall, trying to ensure he isn't bright red. He hadn't expected Castiel to look _that good_.

"I'm done, Dean," Castiel announces. 

Dean turns back around to see Cas dressed in his clothes. Admittedly, at first glance it looks weird, he's so used to Castiel in the suit and trench-coat, but between the t-shirt and Cas' perpetually messy hair... "You look like a rock star," Dean replies approvingly, heart jumping as Cas' face lights up. "Now we just gotta find you a jacket."

"I want to wear my trench coat."

"But that doesn't match!"

"I don't care." Cas suddenly looks small as he lifts the trench coat off the bed, rubbing the collar between his fingers. He wears an expression of mingled fear and defiance. "I want to wear it."

He looks a little goofy in the casual wear with a trench coat, but somehow, in that awkward Castiel way that Dean is already growing to love, he pulls off the look.

"You're lucky you're hot," Dean flirts, winking as he tries not to think about how Castiel _really is hot_.

"I'm not hot," Castiel corrects him, "This coat keeps me at a moderate temperature, especially in the cold weather."

Dean's laughing as they leave his place and head back to the coffee shop. Dean wanted to show Cas a couple of other places, like the tattoo shop he'd gotten his first tattoo at, but he'd used all his extra time dressing Cas. An activity that was entirely worth it.

They chat on the way there, Castiel talking about the bees he raises in his back yard while Dean talks about his Impala and avoids the urge to hold Cas' hand. By the time they make it to the shop, Dean's completely forgotten he's dressed Cas.

Until they're met Charlie shouting, "No way, Winchester!" His other friends are there too, now all quiet and all staring at Dean and Cas.

"Is this how your friends usually greet people?" Cas is staring at him.

Dean's equally confused until Charlie points at Cas' shirt. He turns a deep shade of red, knowing what it looks like. "They're goofing off," he replies, before turning to Charlie and adding pointedly, "There's nothing to get excited about."

"Shame," Charlie grins, coming up to Cas to shake his hand, "I'm Charlie. Dean's self appointed sister."

Jo comes up to meet Cas next, a whispered, "nice catch," to Dean before she shakes Cas' hand. Then it's Ash, then then Garth, then Benny. Cas, to his credit, tries to be polite, but he almost always stares too long, or squeezes too hard, or won't let go of their hands.

"Okay, guys," Dean tries to pull the focus away from Cas, who he's once again feeling oddly protective about, "Who wants to play some D&D?"


	8. All is Not Right in Paradise

If there's anything great about filming these excursions with Castiel, it's that Dean gets to watch everything all over again. And that night was full of so many great moments.

Castiel, as it turns out, can draw. He'd sketched a picture of Dean as his character--something Dean's seriously considering framing--but as soon as he'd presented it to Dean, all the others wanted pictures too. 

Dean thinks he could watch Cas draw forever. Even from far away, he can see Cas ruffling his already ruffled hair, wrinkling his nose as he tries to visualize specific details to draw.

Another wonderful moment was the time Dean's character saved Castiel's Elf Monk from an goblin attack. Castiel looked at him with all the awe and appreciation in the world, like Dean had actually saved him from something more life-threatening.

There's Castiel enjoying one of Charlie's pastries, there's the time he cannot understand Benny's lewd joke for the life of him, or Castiel sincerely informing Jo that she is very muscular when they're helping put everything away.

What Dean isn't expecting is for Charlie to take the camera off its shelf when everyone had cleared out. "You'd better treat him right, Winchester," she says knowingly, "Because Castiel is _perfect_  for you. If you screw this up, I'm getting Jo to beat you up."

An unexpected lump catches in Dean's throat at the message. It's the realization that she's _right_. Castiel is perfect. And between this revelation and the fact it's entirely too late to be filming this segment, Dean is kind of emotional about this. It's taking all he's got to be his regular "Cars and Bars" self.

"I'm not gonna call it love," he says to the camera, "But Castiel...he's something special. And I know the whole point of this is for some unsuspecting stranger to get swept off their feet by me...but I'm starting to think I wouldn't mind getting swept off my feet by him."

Too cheesy. Entirely too emotional. Dean forces a smirk. "He's definitely got the muscles for it."

This "Cars and Bars" persona is really starting to wear on Dean. The words leave a bad taste in his mouth, like stale beer. But if he doesn't keep this up, he could lose everything. What terrifies Dean, though, was the thought that he might rather lose everything than lose Cas.

After another hour or so perfecting the editing, the video was done and Dean, exhausted, falls asleep slumped over the keyboard as it slowly uploads to YouTube.

He awoke several hours later to his phone buzzing. Blearily, Dean turns it on, pressing it to his ear. "Hello?"

 _"Dean Winchester. What the **hell** is this?"  _a female voice demands.

Dean's breath catches in his throat at the recognition. "Lisa?"

Lisa. The very thing with the power to tear it all down. She works at a bar in Georgia. They had a couple of great nights together while he was in the area a couple months ago and Dean had figured that was all. When she called to say she was pregnant, though...that's when things got hairy.

She insists the baby is his. They won't know, not for a couple of months until it's born, but Lisa demanded he come back and stay with her. At first Dean assumes it's to help with the baby, but it becomes very clear she's in it for the money as she threatens to tear down everything by going public. 

Eventually a deal was settled, Dean paying her a good amount of money to stay quiet, but to be safe, he also stopped his cross country escapades. Alastair insists he could go from "babe-magnet" to "life-ruiner" in a matter of days if Lisa, the sweet Georgia girl now pregnant out of wedlock, were to tell her story. 

Dean thought he was free of her.

"What do you mean, Lisa?"

_"This whole thing with wooing Castiel. I thought you were going off the road."_

"I am off the road, Lisa," Dean replies warily, "This is something I'm trying in my free time."

_"So, you'll pretend to settle down with some random stranger and not me?"_

Dean resists the urge to tell Lisa that a couple nights of sex doesn't exactly make her someone he knows well, just like he resists the urge to shout that he's not pretending. Not with Castiel. "Alastair's idea," he mutters finally.

_"Well, I don't like it. Besides, I'm pretty sure you just hired that guy to go along with your sick idea of winning back your fan-base."_

She's not quite wrong. That was exactly why Alastair set this up, to win back the viewers he'd alienated after his stint with Lisa. "He's not some actor, Lisa. He's just a guy I met."

_"Right. You're not getting away with this, Dean."_

"Getting away with what?"

 _"We both know your popularity is surging because of this **Castiel,** " _ she spits the name like it's poison, _"It's only fair I tear it down."_

Dean's heart tightens. "You promised not to come out about the baby."

Lisa laughs. _"There are other ways to take this one down."_

He's not sure what she's planning, but Dean doesn't want to find out. Especially not with what he's got on the line. "Lisa, please. I-" Dean takes a breath, "I think I might..." but he can't quite get the rest of it out, can't bring himself to admit the scariest thing he's ever experienced.

Lisa just scoffs. _"You don't care about him. You haven't cared about anyone else you've slept with, why's he any different?"_

Dean wants to tell her, wants to give her reasons why, but he's freezing up. "Lisa, please. Don't ruin this for me."

_"Should have thought about that before you ruined my life, Dean."_

With a click, the line went dead and Dean sagged in his seat. It wasn't his fault she'd chosen to have sex with him, it wasn't his fault she decided to keep the baby. But it doesn't matter.

Fingers shaking, Dean dialed another number. "Hey, Alastair? I think we've got a problem..."


	9. Blood

Alastair has assured him things are going to be fine. That's what Dean keeps reminding himself as he resists the urge to call Charlie, or Sam, or Cas himself. He doesn't want to admit that things are starting to blow up in his face to the first two...he doesn't really want to admit anything to Cas. Not with things going so well (Lisa aside).

And for a while, Alastair is right. Dean's not sure what Alastair did, he's not sure he wants to, but Lisa's stayed quiet. So life goes on as normal. Dean takes Castiel out more often. They have official dates (ones he's secretly filming) once a week, but they're also texting a lot and Dean walks Cas to work every morning. Plus, Castiel stops by the garage occasionally with lunch. 

Life is the best it's been for as long as Dean can remember.

He can't say what he likes best. It changes daily. Dean likes the almost child-like excitement Castiel exhibits over the smallest things (he once paused their walk for almost 20 minutes to follow a particularly fuzzy honey bee). He likes how Castiel loves PB&J, but only with smooth peanut butter and raspberry jam. How Castiel tilts his head to the side when he's trying to understand Dean's jokes, or squints as he finally grasps the punchline.

And there's something oddly perfect about how Dean, who's pretty much the poster child for drunken one night stands, gets so nervous thinking about Cas that he hasn't even held his hand, much less kissed him.

The longer it goes on, the more Dean realizes he's in love. And while he keeps a tight lid on that around Cas, he talks more and more freely about it on his show. After all, views and subscriptions are sky rocketing, people are eating this up.

Admittedly, with this boost in popularity comes the rise of the unsavory part of any fan group: the haters. They've taken to referring to Cas as "CastiHELL." The mix seems to be comprised of homophobes who rather Dean ends up with a woman, fans who seem to believe Dean should end up with _them_ , and those who, for one reason or another, just plain don't like Cas.

It's stupid that this bothers Dean, who's been debating now for a while how he's supposed to tell Castiel about any of this, but it does. He hates the idea that anyone would dislike Cas, much less this vehement hatred towards him. And it's all Dean's fault for dragging Cas into this mess, Dean knows it.

After one particularly bad day, Dean decides to pretend nothing is happening by doing what he knows best: working on cars. And for a while it works. After all, it's easy to let the world fall away with the sounds of classic rock, the smell of motor oil and the feeling of manual labor. And it's glorious. 

All that ends when Dean leaves to go to lunch. He washes his hands, the grime leaving his skin and swirling down the drain. It's almost therapeutic to watch. Once his hands and arms are sufficiently cleaned, Dean dries them and makes his way inside. He grabs his lunch (PB&J) and his phone.

Immediately Dean knows something's wrong. Sam's called three times and sent several texts.

[text]: We need to talk.

[text]: It's really important.

[text]: Do you already know? Is that why you're ignoring me?

[text]: Please, Dean. Just pick up your damn phone.

 Heart pounding, Dean dials Sam's number. His brother picks up after a single ring.

_"Dean, how is he doing?"_

Dean's brow furrows. He'd thought this was about Sam, or Jess maybe. "You mean Cas?"

Sam exhales. _"Please tell me he's with you."_

He didn't know his heart could beat even harder. "What happened?"

_"You don't know?"_

Dean's out the door, running to his own car, phone pressed to his ear. "I've been at the garage all day, Sammy."

_"Someone leaked his address."_

And just like that, Dean's heart stops. He shivers involuntarily. He should have been doing more to curb the crazy fans. But all the threats seem so...distant. They're just random strangers halfway across the globe, they can't touch him. That's what he's always thought, well, what he's always used to justify letting this all happen. But now...it would be bad enough if they drove him away from his home, but what if they drove _Cas_  away?

_"Dean? Dean, you okay? Is he?"_

"I don't know... _shit_ , I don't know, Sammy..." Dean's pretty much flooring it, the Impala swerving through traffic in a way that would have made him uncomfortable if he didn't have " _Cas, Cas, Cas, Cas, Cas"_  drumming through his head like a heartbeat.

_"Calm down, Dean. It's going to be fine."_

"We don't know that, Sam! You've seen those comments, you have to know what they've threat--" Dean chokes up, clamping his mouth shut before he can let out a whimper.

He's home quickly, though not quickly enough. Dean's out the car door the second he puts it into park. The car keys still hang from the ignition and the phone lays abandoned on the seat as Dean sprints up the road to Cas' house

"Cas!"

Castiel stands outside his house, trench coat looking even more like it's swallowing him (if that's even possible). Dean's grabbing him by the arms, sizing him up to make sure nothing has happened. "Are you okay?"

Cas shrugs, blue eyes unusually sad as he gestures towards his house. And that's when Dean sees it.

Eggs are splattered everywhere, gooey yolk running down Cas' window, walls, and door. But that's, well, light compared to the horror scrawled across the facade.

 _GO TO HELL CASTIEL_  has been painted in harsh red spray paint.

"I thought it was a simple prank at first..." Cas explains, voice slightly wobbly, "Though now I'm afraid it might just be personal. Maybe I've angered one of my co-workers..."

He looks like he's about to cry and Dean can't blame him. He pulls Cas into a hug impulsively and Castiel practically collapses into his arms.

"I do not know what I've done to incur their wrath, Dean..." he's sniffling and Dean feels like the most awful person in the universe. He should tell Cas, he really should...but he _can't_. Not yet.

Instead, Dean pulls away, wiping Cas' tears off with his jacket sleeve. "You didn't do anything, okay?" he says lowly, "So you're gonna hang out at my place, listen to music or somethin', and I'm gonna clean this up."

"But Dean--" Cas reaches up to grab Dean by his wrists, clearly still hurt about the vandalism.

"You ain't done nothin' wrong," Dean repeats, "So lemme do this for you, okay? 'S not fair for you to have to stare at that bullshit."

He feels so low, worse than the scum of the Earth. Not only because he can't bring himself to tell Cas, but because right here, right now, in the face of slander splattered upon Cas _because_  of Dean...all he can think about is kissing Castiel.

"C'mon, Cas. Just go inside. Make yourself at home. We can make dinner together when I'm done."

"Could I possibly stay the night? On the couch, I wouldn't be a bother, but..." Cas' eyes are blue and wide with emotion, "I don't want to go back to my place right away."

Dean nods and Cas smiles slightly, making his way to Dean's place. As Dean wipes the paint, the red running onto his hands, he can't help but feel like his hands are covered in blood. Cas' blood. 

What is he supposed to do now?


	10. That's What She Said

After the paint is, for the most part, removed, and the egg scrubbed from Cas’ walls and windows, it’s almost dark. Still, Dean can’t help but feel like this is a mere fraction of the penance he should be serving for dragging Castiel into this in the first place.

They end up ordering pizza, one cheese (Cas’ selection) and one Meat Lover’s. When Cas mentions he’d like a change of clothes, Dean lets him borrow some from his own closet. He feels an odd warm sensation in his chest, seeing Cas pad into the living room wearing a loose pair of sweatpants and one of Dean’s worn AC/DC t-shirts.

“I am sorry for imposing,” Cas repeats, tugging nervously on the edge of the shirt, “If you want me gone--”

“Stay,” Dean cut him off. “I like the company. And besides,” he gestures to the TV, “Jurassic Park is practically begging to be watched.”

Cas smiles wanly, snuggling up next to Dean on the couch. The opening credits have barely started when Cas quietly rests his head on Dean’s shoulder. Heart pounding, Dean tentatively wrapped an arm around Cas, who took that as an invitation to curl in ever closer.

The whole evening would have been something out of a daydream if it wasn’t for the pit in Dean’s stomach. Halfway through the film, Cas breaks down completely, sobbing into Dean’s shirt. “I d-don’t even know w-what I did wrong…”

Dean pulls Cas into a tight hug, rocking him back and forth. He cards his fingers through Cas’ messy black hair, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. “You’re practically an angel, Cas,” he murmurs, “Whoever did this? They’re the ones who did something wrong.”

Cas replies merely by sniffling. It’s a small sign, but the extent to which he’s been in pain breaks Dean’s heart. He swears he’s going to find out who did this. After all, Dean has a pretty obvious lead. But for now, he can’t bring himself to move, instead rubbing soft circles on Cas’ back and stroking his hair. They are simple, intimate gestures, ones his “Cars & Bars” persona would have mocked. 

He’s been such an idiot.

Eventually, Castiel falls asleep in Dean’s arms. When the movie ends, Dean carefully extracts himself from Cas’ grip, ignoring the sleepy whine as he grabs a blanket and tucks Cas in. “Goodnight,” he whispers, pressing the tiniest ghost of a kiss to Cas’ temple before making his way to his bedroom.

As soon as the door was shut, Dean whips out his phone and dials Lisa’s number. She picks up after the third ring.

_ “Kinda late, don’t you think?” _

Dean glares, his mouth tightening into a sharp line across his face. “Cut the crap, Lisa. What you did to Cas is uncalled for.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“Don’t tell me you really think leaking his address falls in the category of appropriate, Lisa.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath on the other line. “ _ I didn’t do that, Dean. _ ”

Dean barks a harsh laugh. “Yeah, right,” he snaps, although a tiny hint of belief curls inside him. Lisa does sound surprised. “You said you were going to tear it all down.”

“ _ I meant I was going to tear  _ **_you_ ** _ down, jackass,”  _ Lisa replies, frustration evident in her voice, “ _ I was gonna spread rumors that you had STDs...or, I don’t know, that you’d just hired Castiel...I would never go so far as to destroy the man who is likely just a pawn in your game like that.” _

“They found him, Lisa,” Dean runs a shaky hand through his hair, “Vandalized his place while he was at work...I don’t even want to think of what would happen if he was  _ home _ …” his voice wobbles and cracks and to Dean’s dismay, he’s to the brink of tears on a phone call with an ex.

“ _ Holy shit, he’s in danger?” _

Dean sighs. “Maybe? I don’t know. He’s got this group of...I dunno what you call them, anti-fans? They call themselves--”

“ _ The Casti-Hellers,”  _ Lisa’s voice is tense, “ _ I know. _ ”

“You looked them up?”

There’s a long pause. Dean sits on the edge of the bed, growing steadily more fearful of whatever was coming. 

“ _...this is gonna sound really incriminating, but I worked with the Casti-Hellers.” _

Dean was on his feet in seconds, barely able to keep from throwing his phone across the room. “You mean you helped  _ plan _ this attack?”

“ _ No! Not that, I’d never go that far! I was on the more reasonable side of the group, we were coming up with ways to prove you’d hired Castiel, that’s all.” _

_ “ _ Lisa…” Dean growls.

“ _ I swear, that’s it!”  _ Lisa’s voice is growing more and more hysterical, “ _ I never wanted to hurt Castiel. I didn’t even want to hurt you, I just…”  _ her voice breaks, “ _ I wanted you to come back. I wanted you to love me again… _ ”

She could be lying. Dean thinks this faintly to himself, but his gut is telling him otherwise. That Lisa was just another heart he’s broken along the way, one who’s desperate to be loved by the man she’s convinced herself she loves. And for a brief moment, Dean imagines what life would be like if he went to Georgia and got together with her. The odd domesticity they would no doubt fall into.

It sounds nice, Dean has to admit. But it doesn’t even begin to hold a candle to the thought of living all of that with  _ Cas _ . 

“ _ But you really love him, don’t you?” _ Lisa pulls Dean out of his renewed daydreams of waking up next to Cas, “ _ I’ve seen your videos...and how you’ve reacted to this…” _

“Yeah,” Dean admits hoarsely, aware of just how strange it is to go from accusing his ex of destroying Cas to talking about his feelings, “I really do.”

Lisa sighs. “ _ I’ll try and talk some sense into the Casti-Heller’s, okay? Try to keep anyone from doing anything stupid.” _

“You’d do that?” Dean can’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

“ _ It’s kind of the right thing to do in this situation, whether you hired him or not,”  _ Lisa replies,  _ “But...Dean? If you didn’t hire him...he needs to know what he’s walked into _ .”

“I…” Dean feels the words stop in his throat. He knows he  _ should _ talk to Cas, he owes Castiel that much, but he fears the ever growing backlash that is sure to follow the admission. 

“ _ Dean, this isn’t just about living a lie anymore. He could still easily be in danger.” _

“I know, I just…”

_ “If you love him, you’ll tell him. _ ”

And Dean knows she’s right. He pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling loudly. How he’s supposed to even begin to broach this topic is difficult enough, but imagining the look on Cas’ face when the truth comes out...it’s heartbreaking even in theory.

“ _ Promise me you’ll tell him, Dean.” _

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll tell Castiel,” Dean huffs. 

_ “Good _ .”

“Hey, Lisa?” Dean adds, “Thanks.”

“ _ No problem. You owe me one, Winchester. _ ” 

Dean grins. “I’ll get on that. Talk to you soon?”

“ _ Honestly? Hopefully not. Guess I have to get on the ‘moving on’ train and all.”  _

“I’m so sorry.”

“ _ I know. See you around, Dean.” _

“Bye.”

Dean hangs up, flopping onto his bed. At least he’d have the rest of the night to prepare for the conversation that was coming. Hell, he could even throw in a fancy breakfast to soften the blow. Pancakes with honey, maybe. As he mulls over possibilities, though, the door creaks open. Dean sits up quickly to see Castiel looking stricken.

“What do you need to tell me, Dean?” 


End file.
